Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
whose parrot is this?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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