nut hugger
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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