Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
