just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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