I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
