You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
