I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize