Swine flu. Run for my life!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize