That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
