Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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