Its about making memories worth repressing
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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