Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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