why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
