Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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