What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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