I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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