You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
