they need to just BURY HIM!
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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