I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just google imaged poop.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
