you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize