i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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