sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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