And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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