Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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