Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
