Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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