I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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