Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
we're chasing vodka with high fives
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
