i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
