You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
