carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
