We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
