Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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