I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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