Got a toothbrush?
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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