woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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