Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
