I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize