I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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