u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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