should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
is it fun? or sober?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
