all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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