Non-Jews are for practice
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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