He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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