evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
