Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
