Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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