I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
