Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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