lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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