You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
