Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
