i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
