It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
