doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i think i have two assholes
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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